Alright, so I added some ads onto the website, officially making me a level one sell out. To give a scope of the level distribution of the character class “Sell Out”, here’s break down of the levels with examples:
Levels 1-19: The Novice
Generally, these guys advertise for money on the side. They take their normal career, talents and fame and attach sponsors to them. At the top levels in this region are Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods.
- Most Professional Athletes - In order to support their drug habit during the off season, many athletes have added Sell Out as a secondary class. Besides, I’m sure they have to pay for their own Steroids.
- Corporate sponsored interest groups. - Let’s face it, it’s just not as great of a protest if you don’t all have matching T-Shirts. And nothing says the we mean it like “H&R Block Says Stop Experimenting on Animals”.
- Most content driven websites. (note I didn’t make the distinction of good content, so this includes Optional Quest)
- Most Newspapers and Magazines. - These publications need the classifieds and advertisments in order to fuel their honest journalism.
Levels 20-39: More Ad Than Content
For movie stars and athletes to reach this point, your career or fame is essentaily over, and you’re just cruising to a stop. In order to get here, they’ll have to pass up possible class changes at level 20 such as doing porn, releasing an internet sex video or entering politics. This class also includes low grade actors that eventually become a spokesman for a particular brand.
- Burt Reynolds and William Shatner - Okay, I saw William Shatner doing a commercial for a local law firm, that’s pretty dang low.
- That Verizon Wireless guy. - Being a guy, I don’t completely understand what women think is attractive… but am I missing something here? What’s this guy’s ace? Is he somehow super attractive or an acting genius that Sprint has kept him for the past 10 years and trying to expand his role in the commercials? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t take Tom Hanks to pulled off complicated lines like “Do you hear me now?”
- Local businesses, especially car dealerships, owned by former athletes. - Why are they always yelling at me?!?!
- Nascar racecars (if they were people).
- Gossip Magazines - “Is Angelina Jolie cheating on Brad Pitt with aliens from Braxas?” Somehwere between the lines of bolded font lies and heavily doctored photos, I’m sure there’s an ounce of real journalism.
- Games for Windows magazine - If every other article you write has to starts with “I know we are sponsored by Microsoft but…” then you’ve sold out.
Levels 40-50: “All Integrity Must GO!”
Once you’ve relinquished your soul, you’ll have advanced to level 40. From here, you’re a shell of your former self. You no longer have anything to do with the field you originally set out as, but really, in order to get here you have to shed your soul and all respectability. The quest to do this, is extremely difficult and very few people make it through. Here are some examples:
- The creators of the movie “Mac and Me” - Here’s a clip
- Bill O’Riley - journalist? No, I just get on TV and piss people off.
- All the producers on the 20th or whatever it is season of American Idol - When’s the last time one of the winners had a successful career? Season 1? They should name it 15 Second Idol.
Back when “independent games” meant free hobby-developed games, many people like me had the dream of making games that people can play for free and enjoy. Eventually, we found out that the only people who were playing our games were other developers. I need to well eat too.
